How To Have a Guilt-less Vacation with Your Spouse

The burning question that I got from several people when my husband and I returned from our 8 day anniversary getaway was, if I felt guilty leaving my kids for such a long period of time. My answer is NO. I love my children with all that I have, but if mom and dad aren’t connecting, home life for all will be less than stellar!

Here are my tips for planning for successful time away with your honey!

1. Pray and ask God to Send Help You Can Trust: If the thought, I would love to get away but have no one I can trust comes immediately to your mind then it’s time to pray and network! We mamas should always have a back up plan for childcare. One of the first missions I went on after I became a new mom was to find help that I could trust so that I would be able to have some me time. If this is an issue for you check out my post on Self Care.
2. Cut out the Excuses: This will go back to number 1. Many times we say we can’t afford to get away and have help. There are so many options available. Maybe you can exchange sitting with another family, have a family member watch the kids, or exchange one thing in your budget for the time spent with your husband and childcare. The key here is to get creative. Trust me. Your marriage needs it!! Don’t wait until you are completely disconnected to try and fix your marriage. We have to nurture things in our life we want to grow!
3. You Have to Give up Some Control: Your kids are going to be okay without you! As moms we don’t want to leave our kids because we think they won’t be okay without us. The same dramatics they put on when we leave the house for date night, work, or to run errands are the same dramatics they will throw your way when you are trying to get some quality time with your hubby. Be strong sister! Be strong.
4. Enjoy the Time Away: Maybe your first trip is not 8 days. Maybe you start with a weekend getaway. The key is to do something and to get rid of the guilt. Whomever you left the kids with is going to take great care of them. I enjoy my time with my husband so much when we getaway and often wonder what took us so long to schedule it! Don’t make excuses. Date your husband, hear his heart, communicate with him, and rekindle that intimacy! When you come back refreshed and rejuvenated your whole family will be better for it.
5. Come back with New Energy: My husband and I came back feeling like teenagers! Our kids were happy to see us too! We all had a new appreciation for each other. They enjoyed grandma’s house and we enjoyed our time away. They also had some new good habits after spending a week with their grandparents!

Need help with having better connection in your marriage? Click here for a FREE discovery coaching call. We will discuss tips and strategies for strengthening your marriage.

Let’s chat! Tell me in the comments below the best getaway you’ve ever had with your spouse? Never been on a getaway? Tell me your dream location and on your next date night start dreaming and planning.

How to Get Focused and Push Past Overwhelm

Do you wake up feeing overwhelmed or at peace? Do you have a solid plan in place for getting things accomplished in your day to day? Are your days a reflection of chaos going in whichever direction the wind takes you, or do you have order and a rhythm for getting things done? In today’s society there are so many options and choices. So, how do we decide what we should be focused on in our everyday? Here are my 5 tips for keeping the overwhelm out and the focus in!

1. Be Intentional About Your Time: Sometimes we have to guard our time like our lives depend on it! If we don’t respect our time then nobody else will. I like to start by slowing down. For some reason we equate full life with having a full calendar and that’s just not the case. Each season of your life should give you life (tweet this). The moment that anxiousness and overwhelm start to creep in, we have to evaluate what we are doing and figure out what can stay and what can go. Sit down and map out what a productive day looks life for you and stick to it (more about this soon).
2. Silence Your Distractions: One of the biggest time killers these days is technology. There is an app for everything! Don’t get me wrong many of these are useful, but they can also be huge time suckers. Decide that you are going to put limits on the distractions. You many need to write out what your distractions are. If you know you like to watch t.v. and it keeps you from being productive, set a limit on your screen time. Silencing our distractions takes discipline. We have to make a conscious decision that we desire to have more order and !peace in our life over our distractions.
3. Write Out What You Need to get Done: If it’s all in your head and not on paper it’s not going to get done! Productive people always have a game plan and stick to it. I like to say, don’t just talk about it be about it. What do you need to write down? Where can you keep it so that you can actually reference it regularly? This may also be a good time to create a Vision Board or do some goal setting.
4. Find Accountability Friends : Have you told anybody your plans to get things done? I know that if I’m having a hard time getting started on a project, I may need to enlist the help from my spouse or a trusted friend or family member that I know will encourage me in my process.  Enlisting the help of an accountability friend is a great way to feel supported in our endeavors. I always say that life is lived better in community! Don’t be afraid to ask for help in your time of need. We all need spiritual, emotional, and physical help at some point.
5. Push through complacency: Sometimes we get overwhelmed because we try and accomplish too much at once. Ever wake up in the morning and think about all the things you need to get done and then not want to get out of bed? It’s not a good feeling to feel defeated before you have even started. Start with the first step. Do that small thing that you need to do whether it’s making your bed, returning a phone call, or organizing a bookshelf. Be disciplined enough to tackle it no matter how you feel. Our feelings have a way of trying to dictate what we are going to do. Choose productivity over I don’t feel like it. We always feel so much better on the other side.

Interested in having me walk out the process with you? Need someone to help you stay accountable? Sign up for a Free 30 minute Discovery Call today!

How do you stay focused in your day to day? Comment below and share this article with a friend for an opportunity to win the “Make it Happen” calendar from my Get focused video.  Winner of the give away will be announced and notified by, Friday March 25, 2016.