Personal Growth

Goal Setting & Vision Casting for 2017: Why This Year Will Be Different

Today I want to talk to you about getting the things done that you’ve set out to accomplish for each quarter, as well as the year as a whole.  At the end of this first quarter I want you to be able to look back and know that you used your time wisely and were intentional with the plans you laid out. I don’t want you to write down things to do from a place of feeling the need to be busy. I want you to be able to reflect on each quarter of 2017 and see fullness in your relationships as well as the work you set you hands to.  So here is how you should go about planning and preparing for a guilt-free 2017!

Mindset

Recently, I hosted a couple of goal setting and vision casting workshops to kick off the new year. Before the ladies came, I prayed over the time we were going to spend together and waited with an expectant heart for the ladies God would send my way.  My cup is still full from the time and fellowship I spent with these women who came and allowed God to pour into them and give them vision for the new year.

This was not the typical vision board party where you sit and do the task of creating a board that illustrates your vision for the year. (Don’t get me wrong, I love this particular task and I’m the queen of embellishing things!) However, this year God put it on my heart to talk to the women about mindset first.

Here's why: you can have all the vision in the world, but if your mindset does not match what you are setting out to accomplish you are going to run out of steam before the year's end. Yes, things from your board may still manifest, but each year we should also be doing internal work and making strides toward achieving growth from the inside out.

Assess

For transformation to take place we’ve got to start with doing what I like to call an internal inventory.  What have your carried into 2017 that did not serve you well in 2016? What things have you been telling yourself that don’t line up with God’s truth about you? Whether we like it or not, we will encounter other hurting people who will bump into us from time to time, and it’s important that we learn how to keep our hearts pure and clean, by guarding them and filtering out the yucky stuff.

During my live workshops I challenged the ladies to write down those things that they were carrying around because there is major power and freedom in releasing these things and not keeping them bottled up inside of us.

Now I challenge YOU to sit down and do a brain dump. Write down all of the things that are causing you to get stuck, or words that have been spoken over you that are just not true. Release them so that you can make room for God to fill you with his truth.

Your Word

The next thing we did was select and chat about our word for the year. Now this should not cause anxiety. If you don’t feel like you have a word yet, spend some time in prayer and ask God to show you the reoccurring themes in your current season. Where is He challenging you to go higher with him?

Don’t be afraid to ask him! He is actually waiting to partner with you this year on the most productive year you’ve ever had! Remember His voice is not one of condemnation, so the word you will hear from Him will be a word that empowers you to fulfill the greatness that he has placed inside of you. Don’t run from it - embrace it!

Priorities

Next you will need to set your priorities for the upcoming quarter and year. If you’ve never done this before, I suggest starting with your goals for this quarter. But, if goal setting and vision casting is something you do regularly, go ahead and tackle the whole year!

What priorities is God showing you? Is it your faith, family, finances, a specific area He wants you to be more disciplined in? Write it all down and be sure to follow it up with some actionable steps to take so that you will be sure to accomplish your goals.

Dream

Goal Setting & Vision Casting for 2017- Why This Year Will Be Different (1)
Goal Setting & Vision Casting for 2017- Why This Year Will Be Different (1)

Last but not least, I want you to dream - and dream big! You know those deep desires we all have in our hearts that we are afraid to unleash. Write those dreams and desires down. God challenged me recently and told me that there were things He knew I was dreaming of, but had not asked Him for.

I like to equate this to the relationship we have with our children or any family member or co-worker.  You know how you know people want things, but are too afraid to ask? Most times we don’t act on those desires until they ASK us. God wants the same from you! He created you with those desires and He is waiting eagerly to fulfill each and every promise to you! So - open up your mouth and ask!

I would love to help you flesh out your goals and vision for 2017 and I have a worksheet that I would love to share with you to help you in your process. All you have to do is get yourself signed up for a 2-hour intensive during which we will walk through your goals and vision together. When you sign up you'll receive your free goal setting and vision casting worksheet free as a special gift.

I can’t wait to see all the amazing things God has in store for you this year unfold! Cheers to 2017, friend!

Learning to Communicate with Yourself: Tips for Resetting Your Inner Critic

This post has been on my heart for quite a while. I’ve been very consciously watching and taking notice of both how I talk to and perceive myself for several weeks. Why have I been doing this? Well, because I've discovered something important about communication. If you don’t know how to communicate well with yourself, you are going to have the hardest time communicating with those around you. How you perceive yourself has a lot to do with how you perceive the world around you.

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Ever heard of the term “inner critic?” It’s that little voice in your head that points to all things terrible about you and your life. It’s time to kick that critic to the curb! Learn how to reset that inner voice and you will have smooth sailing towards living up to the person God created you to be.

Follow the 3 tips I share below to begin falling in love with yourself!

1. Always address yourself in a positive manner

Take your thoughts captive! What exactly does this mean? When negative thoughts want to swirl around in your head you have to make a conscious effort to change the soundtrack and replace those words with what God says about you!

Girls, get in the Word. We’ve got to make it a practice to feed ourselves spiritually every single day! You have the mind of Christ. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are clothed with strength and dignity! See where I’m going here? To keep it simple, why not print this daily affirmations worksheet I created and hang it somewhere you'll see every day so you can repeat them to yourself.

Affirmations Printable
Affirmations Printable

Just pop your name and email below to instantly download this beautiful printable!

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2. Know what you want

Do you have a hard time staying true to your heart's desires because you are afraid of what others may think? Many of us know what we want but never release it into the world because of our fears of how we may be perceived by others. Learn how to be okay with YOU. There was only one of you created and for a very good reason.

Take some time to get alone with God and ask him to show you how he sees you. Don’t be afraid of what he reveals. Remember, God is love so he is going to show you your positive attributes. Whenever he reveals truth about changes we need to make it will always be lavished with grace and love.

3. Evaluate your relationships

Are your friends and family contributing in a good or bad way to your inner critic? Are you getting more criticism than love? People have a tendency to want to “fix” other people. Remember you are not in need of a critical fix. We can all get better with constructive criticism, but if there are certain people who are constantly telling you that you need an overhaul, you may want to reevaluate the relationship. Hurting people hurt people, so if you are constantly being hurt with words by your people, it may be time to get new people.

At the end of the day, we all have areas of growth that we need to work on. Don’t hide from yourself! Getting to know yourself will really help you in your other relationships. You deserve to be treated with respect and to get what you want in life, which starts by deciding that you deserve the best!

Motherhood Doesn't Have to Be a Hot Mess

I know that I might catch some flack for saying this, but.....do you ever get tired of us mamas being portrayed as not being able to handle the portion we've been given?? Now I'm not by any means dismissing the fact that there are some MAJOR tough moments that we face in our mothering journeys.

In fact, I'm writing this post in the midst of a bit of "weekend hangover" (my husband traveled last week and I was flying solo with my four kiddos) there are loads of laundry that need to be done and I'm pretty sure my kids tattled on each other at LEAST 100 times between 6-7am!

I'm not suggesting that motherhood isn't hard. But what I am suggesting is that the struggles of motherhood don't define us as mothers. The real story is in how we overcomes those struggles, not in the struggles themselves.

Mamas, this is my plea: we need to take our power back!

Do you want to know what I learned at the end of last week while my husband was out of town? I learned that I had given my kids way too much of my power.

I found myself getting easily frustrated by the tattling, easily frustrated by the messes made around the house - easily frustrated by just about any and everything they did!

But, after making everybody go lie down so that I could regroup and get my sanity back, I decided it was time to sit the kiddos down and have a talk with them about my expectations for them daily - especially while Daddy is out of town for work.

Typically conversations of correction are followed by long sighs and a bunch of "I didn't do it!" But this time, my kids could tell that those excuses weren't going to fly and if they enjoyed living in a house with warm meals and clean clothes, they had better listen up to the lady in charge! ;)

I am convinced that the reason kids often get squirrelly in their behavior is because they aren't clear on our expectations.

Think about it for a moment. Kids typically follow the rules at school. They follow the rules in church class. They usually even follow the rules when they go to Grandma and Grandpa's! So what makes home different?

When we send our kids to each of these other places we usually also spend time getting our children acquainted with the rules and the consequences there will be for not following them. So, right away our children know they are expected to behave.

The question is: how do we bring about the same kind of behavior in our own homes on a more regular basis?

Now, please know that I am NOT by any means suggesting that I don't have amazing kids. I love all of my little cherubs! But, the minute Daddy goes out of town it's like they've been replaced by wild things and their one and only mission is to keep me pulling my hair out!

Well, this past weekend (after several come to Jesus moments!) I decided I was not having it and that there had to be a better way. So, I sat my kids down and gave them a little review of who their mama is and what she will and will not tolerate.

I think as moms it's SO important to open ourselves up to our kids. They need to see us as human so that they don't grow up one day thinking one of two things: 1) I can never live up to what my mom was OR 2) Wow, my mom sure has a lot of flaws that I just didn't recognize as a kid.

The gift I have always desired to give my kids is to see their mama as a woman who loved herself enough to make herself a priority in her own life.

So, here I am mamas to encourage you in whatever season you may be in. It's time to take back your power!

If that means putting the kids on a solid bedtime routine, dig deep and enlist help if necessary - you can do it!

If that means training the kids to whine and complain less, then teach them your expectations and hold them accountable while making time to hear their hearts and share your own.

If that means sitting down to figure out age-appropriate chores that will help around the house - do it! Don't underestimate the desire your kiddos have to help you (especially when they are little!)

If that means pausing to address difficult behavior, just remember that our kids act out when there is something they are craving or if there is something they are dealing with that we are not aware of. Get in your prayer closet and ask the One who created them to help you on this journey.

Don't ever be ashamed and don't you dare give up your power. You can do this! From one mama to another, I am cheering you on!

I have this little mantra I like to say that I want you to remember: Tomorrow is another day. 

Reminding myself of this truth helps me walk in grace and mercy no matter what areas I fall short in my mothering each and every day.

Instead of handing over my power to my kids, I'm going to allow myself to see where God wants me to grow. I'm going to see where God is trying to do a new thing in me.

I refuse to succumb to my flesh and say I can't. I can and I will, because He has called each and every one of us for such a time as this!

If you could use more encouragement, motivation and inspiration like this to help you through your marriage and motherhood journey, I'd love to invite you to join me in The Guilt-Free Girlfriends community over on Facebook (it's totally free!)

And, I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

Mamas, it's time for us to stop celebrating "hot mess motherhood" and take our power back! | EntriceRowe.com
Mamas, it's time for us to stop celebrating "hot mess motherhood" and take our power back! | EntriceRowe.com

Dealing with Your Fears

Fears - we all have them. So, how do we navigate life on a daily basis in spite of our fears? I would like to challenge you to think about how you think. Take a minute and think about how you talk to yourself over the course of the day. Are you speaking words of life or death over yourself? I like to think about my children when they get into a challenging situation. My kids will say “I can’t do it!” and they say it with quite a bit of emphasis. But, as their mom I typically won’t take “I can’t,” as a valid response. Why is it with other people we encourage and validate but with ourselves we tear down?

Each and every day we can give ourselves the gift of life. We can say, “I can and I will.” We can have the courage to push through resistance and not worry what other people might think of us. I think the beauty of making mistakes is that they teach us so many beautiful lessons. And, when you are able to see the process of another individual you are able to see that the climb isn’t as steep as you think.

I remember when God first asked me to show people my process and parts of my life that seemed too messy to expose (at least to me.) So often we want to show the final product to people, but learning does not take place from seeing just the final product. People need to also see how you got there!

This is something I think about often, because these moments of realness and authenticity that we can offer to others will help them get free of the need to be “perfect.” We should always offer our best to God, but we also need to leave room for his best.

So don’t be afraid to make mistakes or to fail. Give your best efforts, but also hold yourself to a standard of grace! Give yourself the space to live life joyfully, without the pressure of always having to be right or perfect. Give yourself the gift of courage, give yourself the gift of encouragement, give yourself the gift of compassion, and give yourself the gift of kindness. Because when we can give these gifts freely to ourselves, we can then turn around and give them to others!

What gift do you need to give yourself this week?

Be sure to really take some time and listen to the way you talk to yourself. If you don’t like what you hear, decide today to speak life. For as God's word reminds us “…the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” - Luke 6:45 (NIV)

We all have fears that get in the way of of us walking into the fullness of God's will for our lives. The question is not when or what we will fear, but HOW we will overcome our fear. Come read about the gifts you can give yourself to move past your fears! | EntriceRowe.com
We all have fears that get in the way of of us walking into the fullness of God's will for our lives. The question is not when or what we will fear, but HOW we will overcome our fear. Come read about the gifts you can give yourself to move past your fears! | EntriceRowe.com

5 Assumptions That Sabotage Our Relationships

I was listening to the radio the other morning, when I heard the morning show host pose a question about relationships and expectations. His question was, "Should you lower your expectations for people you are in a relationship with?" I wanted to dial in badly and answer his question! But, I was in a hurry and didn’t have time to give him these pearls that I am going to share with you today! Just thinking about relationships can make some people fearful. Other people delight and marvel at the opportunity to meet and create bonds with new people. As Christians we should always be seeking God for the relationships that he has for us. After all, he has called us to partner with him in building his kingdom.

So how and why do relationships get so complicated? What can we do to share the love of Christ but not get discouraged if things don’t pan out in certain relationships? Today I want to discuss the assumptions we often make in our relationships that cause things to go awry, and offer some tips to help you manage your expectations. Let’s dig in!

Assumption #1: Everyone thinks like we think

What a perfect world it would be if this were true! Or, maybe not because things could get boring rather quickly. I like to think that meeting people with different opinions creates space and opportunity for growth.

What exactly is it that causes us to want to hang around people that have the exact same beliefs as us? Yes, our inside circle should be filled with people that share our core values. However, for the purpose of growth people that we are in relationships with should also challenge us to become better versions of ourselves.

We tend to like hanging out with like-minded people because it’s “comfortable.” Think about this: is that comfort allowing you to become stronger and taking you to new levels in your personal, spiritual, or professional life? If not it may be time to evaluate your relationships.

It can be very dangerous to hang out with people who “always” agree with you! Challenge yourself to have relationships where you share values but are different in terms of how you like to live out life. For example I tend to be a homebody. So it’s important for me to have friends that enjoy adventures that will pull this homebody into some fun!

Assumption #2: People should know what we're thinking

This is a very dangerous assumption. Our friends and family cannot read our minds. We must speak up! It’s also not wise to put that kind of pressure on a relationship. It may feel scary to speak up and often times we don’t want to because we don’t want to get a NO.

We have to give our relationships the space for people to be able to tell us no without us falling apart. If you get a no, typically it has nothing to do with you. That person simply cannot fulfill your request!

Recently I needed to go to the doctor and all 4 of my kids were home. I was low on options for having someone watch them so I called my husband at work and asked if he could come home. This particular time he couldn’t, so he told me to see if I could get a babysitter to come and watch the kids.

Now, I could have easily gotten mad because he didn’t drop everything and come home. Instead I chose to shift my perspective and see the YES he was giving me. He said, “I can’t come, but why don't you see if you can get a babysitter.”

You’re probably wondering how in the world that was a yes. Well, I needed someone to watch the kids and he couldn’t do it, but he DID provide me with the resources I needed (money to call someone to watch the kids.)

So before we get bent out of shape we have to release people from our expectations that can sometimes be mismanaged!

Assumption #3: People have intentionally hurt or wronged us

I don’t think I’ve ever met anybody this vindictive (at least I hope not!) What I have found to be true is that often times people have their own things that they are dealing with that have absolutely nothing to do with us.

We have to grow to a place of maturity where we understand the world does not revolve around our circumstances and us. Don’t assume anything. If your feelings get hurt by a loved one, be brave enough to ask their intentions if it is something really bothering you. Otherwise let it go. As often as you can smile and share love!

Assumption #4: We should never be corrected

Don’t get caught up here! I just read an article recently that talked about being able to take correction as a sign of wisdom. Of course guard your heart and run things through a filter. But, if someone is sharing truth in love with us, we must not get defensive and shut down. Take what you can apply and always remain teachable.

Assumption #5: Our way is the right way

There is a difference between always being right and God’s standard of truth. If being right is ruining your relationships, the cost of being right is too high. God created us for relationships. We need people and should not be isolated.

Sometimes we need to step back from the need to be right in order to embrace others. I think sometimes we feel like if we don’t show them, then they will never learn. That couldn’t be further from the truth!

God truly does meet all of us exactly where we need to be met. Always extend grace and the love of God. We should all strive to focus less on being “right” and more on building strong enough relationships that we get the opportunity to speak truth in love.

It is my prayer that your relationships bring you life and not frustration! If you’d like to talk more about expectations and relationships, I'd love for you to sign up for a 30 min discovery session with me!

So how are you doing with those expectations in your relationships? Would love for you to share your thoughts in the comments below!

5 Assumptions That Sabotage Our Relationships

Ditch the Guilt & Walk in Your Calling

I’ve been thinking long and hard about how we get to a place where we feel guilty and defensive about the choices we make.

How do we find balance in our day to day?

How do we know that we are making the right choices for our families and ourselves?

How do we walk in true authentic peace?

If these questions have ever swirled around in your head in regards to who you are as a woman, a wife, or a mother - please keep reading!

First things first, whenever I have overwhelming feelings of anxiousness I know that I am going way too fast. I realize that I have somehow gotten ahead of myself - and more importantly, ahead of God!

Just recently I had many opportunities come up that were “good” opportunities and I wanted to commit to each and every one of them!

But, guess what? None of these opportunities were in line with the current season that I am in with my ministry and my family.

So how do you pinpoint what exactly it is you are supposed to be doing and leave all that useless guilt behind?

I would like to share and teach you how through my 8-week Guilt-Free Girlfriends Group Coaching program for wives and moms!

In this program we will take a look at the five areas we tend to get stuck in as wives and moms.

The five areas we will cover for growth will be:

  1. Identity (know your worth)
  2. Core Values (know your value)
  3. Set Boundaries (with yourself, your spouse, and your family)
  4. Communicate Your Needs (to yourself, your spouse, and your family)
  5. Set Out Your Expectations (for yourself, your spouse, and your family)

If you’ve ever experienced those underlying feelings of guilt that just won’t go away, you won’t want to miss this opportunity!

I have 12 spots available to get you ready for the holidays! Yes, that time of the year where we feel extremely guilty about how to handle all the requests being made of our time (and wallets!) by our loved ones and friends.

Let’s get you ready to walk in the God ordained confidence that you are making decisions that bring you peace!

sign-up-2

We will begin the week of Oct 10th! I can't  wait to watch you become guilt-free and walk in all the abundance that God has for you!

Ditch the Guilt & Walk in Your Calling

Understanding Spiritual Seasons

The very first time someone told me that the situation I was going through was “just a season,” I was convinced they had no clue! How could what I was feeling be just a season? The more I sought God and grew in spiritual maturity, I came to realize that they were right - that season had been "just a season." What if we approached life from a perspective of understanding that each season would teach us lessons on strength, endurance, growth, faith, and trust? Would we conduct ourselves differently?

That “thing” you are currently facing whether it is struggles in your marriage, friendships, or relationships with kids, I'm here to tell you that it is just a season. The question is, how do we navigate those seasons?

First we need a road map. We need to understand what is happening during a spiritual fall, winter, spring, and summer. Once we have a clear understanding of the spiritual seasons, we are then equipped to handle whatever life throws our way.

God provides examples in the natural to help us understand our spiritual seasons. Our spiritual seasons typically mirror what we see in nature, however the timing of nature's seasons, when we go through our particular seasons and the length of our seasons don't always match.

Spiritual Fall

If you look at nature this is typically a time of things falling away. This is when we see the temperature and leaves begin to change, which is how we know that fall is coming. Maybe God is calling some things to fall away in your life. What is He calling you to let go of?

Nature provides a great example of how this should look in our life. Often times we want to hold on and not let go of things that could potentially cause problems in our next season. Spiritual fall is a good time for you to grow your trust in God.

Spiritual Winter

In the natural, when we think of winter we think of rest. This is typically a time when things are not growing or blooming outside. Animals are hibernating (resting), and if we are smart we should take a cue from nature when God calls us into a spiritual winter.

We shouldn't resist the rest. Rather, we should welcome the opportunity to recharge! This is a good time to really hear from God on direction and next steps. Pray and journal during this season. Ideas typically will abound if you are getting proper rest during a spiritual winter.

You may feel restless or unsure because it’s not the time to harvest or take action on the ideas, however you can be strategic about planning and getting yourself set up for a bountiful spring. Take him up on His graciousness and rest in Him.

Spiritual Spring

We all love the fresh feelings spring brings! There is just this new zest for life and an unstoppable feeling when we are in a spiritual spring. This is the time that we are planting those ideas that may have come to us during our winter and beginning to see the early stages of blossoms and warmth as our ideas begin to bloom, through our relationships and connections. We are seeing God work on our behalf in our spiritual spring. This is a season that we typically don’t have a hard time trusting Him.

Spiritual Summer

Who doesn't love summer? This is a time in the natural that we typically mix work with play. I recently read an article that pointed out the contrast of the heat and coolness you experience during the summer. So although we are still diligently working, we should also be taking breaks so that we don’t overheat.

How does this apply spiritually? This is the time to reap what you planted during your spiritual spring. It’s a time to continue to work, while making sure to build refreshment and relaxation in as well.

This is also a time for us to get rid those “weeds" that may want to pop up and get us distracted. If we limit our distractions, a spiritual summer can be very good to us.

I hope this helps you pinpoint what spiritual season you are currently in. I know that once I had a clear understanding of spiritual seasons I was able to give myself grace in each new season that God carried me through. I was also able to trust Him more and increase my faith as I saw Him work on my behalf in each season.

How do you handle your spiritual fall and winters? How can you begin to trust God more during a spiritual winter or fall?

I would love for you to come connect with me and other wives and moms who are looking to build community, grow in grace and support each other through each season in the Guilt-Free Girlfriends Group over on Facebook! So, come join us - it's free!

What if we approached life from a perspective of understanding that each season would teach us lessons on strength, endurance, growth, faith, and trust? Once we have a clear understanding of the spiritual seasons, we are then equipped to handle whatever life throws our way.

The Gift of Delegating

Does the thought of delegating projects, whether in the home or office, send you into a panic attack? Years ago, I remember having an opportunity to have a leadership position for a job while I was in college. When I started the job I was so overwhelmed by all of the tasks that needed to be done in order to make the job run smoothly. I remember chatting on the phone with my dad one evening about my frustrations. He let me go on for a while and then said to me, “Sounds like you need to learn to delegate.”

That sat with me for a minute because I always considered myself a team player, but in that moment I learned that I now needed to learn the art of leading a team. Great leaders know the importance of delegation. There are so many benefits to delegating both in the home and workplace.

I’m going to give you a few tips on how to ease the stress of handing projects over, which will free up your time and allow you to do the things you love. Delegating also gives you the opportunity to be a blessing by teaching your family or coworkers new skills.

Delegating is a win-win when done properly. Many of us don’t like to delegate because we don’t want to give up or lose control. When we look at delegating from this perspective, we are creating space in our lives for stress, anxiety, and not living life to the fullest!

I’ve heard so many excuses when it comes to delegating ranging from it takes too long to teach, how can I justify giving someone else this work, if I show them how to do it what will I do? I could go on for days, but I think you get the gist. Often times I work with clients on mindset shift. When we shift our minds to see the blessing in delegating, we are able to let go of things that may bless other people to do for us.

When I first became a mom I remember feeling a bit burdened by all of the things I had to learn to do. Seven months into motherhood, my husband and I decided to make a huge cross-country move. Although I was excited, I knew that I was going to a place where I didn’t know many people. I had planned ahead for as much as I could (I joined a mommy group before we got to our new city and looked forward to the fact that we would be seeing some family more regularly) but I was still a bit overwhelmed by what felt like motherhood being 24/7!

One day I remember, after what felt like a really long day, telling my husband, “I really feel like I need some help at least 5-10 hours a week.” I remember this day as if it were yesterday. I was sitting in my car in the parking lot of a grocery store and I was TIRED! I had never really let anyone watch my baby before, but somewhere deep down inside I knew that I needed to ask for help so that I could be a great wife, mommy, and friend.

I had recently met a family friend who suggested a friend that could watch my son for a few hours. Because this recommendation came from someone I knew I could trust, I didn’t pine over whether or not this was a good idea. I interviewed the sitter, taught her my routine, and about a month or two in I started leaving the house for a few hours a week to get some much needed alone time!

I tell you this story because there was a process. Many people are afraid to delegate because they don’t have a process. Sure it took me some time to work with the sitter on a routine and expectations, but once I did I could go out knowing my baby would be well taken care of.

So, what area of your life should you be delegating some projects? Let’s get started with helping you seamlessly move from doing it all on your own to receiving help that will be a blessing for both you and for whoever God sends your way!

Create systems and do some planning

In order to be able to delegate, you cannot work from a place of chaos. You have to have systems in place so that you can bring in the support and help you need. If you are not naturally a planner don’t stop reading and get frustrated. This is a great area to grow in.

Take small steps towards planning. Start with a small project you could use help with. For example, recently I had pictures sitting in my guest room that I kept telling myself I needed to hang. I purchased all the materials to get the project done, but couldn’t find the space to take the hour out of my day to hang them.

I called our babysitter and had her hang them. Planning requires knowing the strengths of those you are asking for help. So be sure to learn the strengths of those God places in your life! He puts you in relationship with others for fellowship, collaboration, and accountability.

Know your strengths

Do you know what would be the best use of your time? When we know our sweet spot it is so much easier to give up those things that bog us down. Again, start small if you must and be ready to give kind feedback to whomever you are delegating to. People are more inclined to help you when you validate as well as show appreciation for their help. Also, giving small projects first gives you an opportunity to see how they work.

Plan to be hands on in the beginning

When you first turn over a project to someone else, plan to be available to give feedback as well as help if there are some areas for troubleshooting. This even includes teaching your kids a new skill! Often times we get frustrated when those who we give a project to don’t get it right.

Make sure you’ve invested enough time to aid in their success. Remember their work is a reflection of you, so make sure they are properly equipped. Side note: this is not a license to micromanage, but to ensure they have everything they need to be successful.

Enjoy your new freedom

Once you’ve delegated, don’t sit around wondering whether or not the job is getting done. Use this new freedom to work on the things you are gifted to do! As you delegate more you will begin to enjoy the blessing that comes out of giving others opportunity to learn and become stronger in their abilities.

It blesses me so much to be able to see others walk out their strengths! I would love to hear from you.

What is a project that you can delegate today? Tell me in the comments below!

Summer: Time to Relax and Refocus

SummerRelax and Refocus One of the things that I absolutely love about summer is the opportunity to rest and refocus. With things moving so fast in the fall, winter, and spring I certainly enjoy giving myself the gift of slowing down. This summer my kids are home with me. I didn’t sign them up for any camps. Most people get quiet when they hear that I have all four home. The first few weeks are usually spent creating a routine that works for everyone. Kids have gotten used to having every minute planned for them, so it takes some time for my kiddos to fall into a routine where they are being creative and finding things to do on their own. Having all four home gives me an opportunity to connect with each of them as well as work on any behaviors that may have gotten out of sorts during the school year. We have play dates, we explore our city, we do activities and games together, and they get a chance to just be. They don’t have to perform for anyone over the summer. They can read and play and even nap if they choose to. I feel very blessed to be able to give my kids this gift of time!

 

I hope that after this summer they will begin to learn the rhythm of building rest into their lives. I want them to have great work ethic and be go-getters. I also want them to be able to rest and refocus. Here is how I’m teaching these valuable lessons this summer.

 

Rest: From the wise words of my mother in law “You can’t teach a lesson you have not learned.” This is something we have to model for our children. Most people think of rest as being lazy, but I recently read, the difference between the two is rest gives you the opportunity to recharge because you’ve been productive. While laziness is a state where you are unwilling to work hard. Our creator modeled the importance of rest (Genesis 2:1-3.) Rest gives our minds and bodies the opportunity to rejuvenate, which will in turn get our creative juices flowing. My kids see it modeled by me first. They see me work hard and hustle, but they also see me take breaks. As I raise both boys and girls I find it important to teach my girls the importance of taking time for self. I also think it’s important to model for my boys that the women they choose as life partners will need to rest (teaching them how to manage their expectations early.)

 

Refocus: Do you take time to reflect? This is a practice that I truly can’t live without. Whenever I get into a space where I’m beginning to feel anxious, it’s typically because I have not spent time reflecting on what is serving me well in my life and what I can let go of. With summer slow down, it’s a perfect time to refocus. What things have worked well for you in the beginning of the year? What habits have you picked up that you can take sometime to tweak or let go of? Do you ever find yourself throughout the year saying, “I’ll get to that later!” Summer is the perfect time to cross off those things on both your bucket and to do list. We use the summer to brush up on skills as well as try new things. Kids do what we do. If they see us making healthy life choices they are more inclined to develop healthy life choices in their own lives!

With summer rest we will all be ready to rock and roll come Fall!

How will you rest and refocus over this summer holiday? It’s not too late to implement some best practices for your summer slowdown. Tell me what you are doing in the comments below!

 

How to Get Focused and Push Past Overwhelm

Do you wake up feeing overwhelmed or at peace? Do you have a solid plan in place for getting things accomplished in your day to day? Are your days a reflection of chaos going in whichever direction the wind takes you, or do you have order and a rhythm for getting things done? In today’s society there are so many options and choices. So, how do we decide what we should be focused on in our everyday? Here are my 5 tips for keeping the overwhelm out and the focus in!

each season of Your life should give you life

  1. Be Intentional About Your Time: Sometimes we have to guard our time like our lives depend on it! If we don’t respect our time then nobody else will. I like to start by slowing down. For some reason we equate full life with having a full calendar and that’s just not the case. Each season of your life should give you life (tweet this). The moment that anxiousness and overwhelm start to creep in, we have to evaluate what we are doing and figure out what can stay and what can go. Sit down and map out what a productive day looks life for you and stick to it (more about this soon).
  2. Silence Your Distractions: One of the biggest time killers these days is technology. There is an app for everything! Don’t get me wrong many of these are useful, but they can also be huge time suckers. Decide that you are going to put limits on the distractions. You many need to write out what your distractions are. If you know you like to watch t.v. and it keeps you from being productive, set a limit on your screen time. Silencing our distractions takes discipline. We have to make a conscious decision that we desire to have more order and !peace in our life over our distractions.
  3. Write Out What You Need to get Done: If it’s all in your head and not on paper it’s not going to get done! Productive people always have a game plan and stick to it. I like to say, don’t just talk about it be about it. What do you need to write down? Where can you keep it so that you can actually reference it regularly? This may also be a good time to create a Vision Board or do some goal setting.
  4. Find Accountability Friends : Have you told anybody your plans to get things done? I know that if I’m having a hard time getting started on a project, I may need to enlist the help from my spouse or a trusted friend or family member that I know will encourage me in my process.  Enlisting the help of an accountability friend is a great way to feel supported in our endeavors. I always say that life is lived better in community! Don’t be afraid to ask for help in your time of need. We all need spiritual, emotional, and physical help at some point.
  5. Push through complacency: Sometimes we get overwhelmed because we try and accomplish too much at once. Ever wake up in the morning and think about all the things you need to get done and then not want to get out of bed? It’s not a good feeling to feel defeated before you have even started. Start with the first step. Do that small thing that you need to do whether it’s making your bed, returning a phone call, or organizing a bookshelf. Be disciplined enough to tackle it no matter how you feel. Our feelings have a way of trying to dictate what we are going to do. Choose productivity over I don’t feel like it. We always feel so much better on the other side.

 

Interested in having me walk out the process with you? Need someone to help you stay accountable? Sign up for a Free 30 minute Discovery Call today!

 

How do you stay focused in your day to day? Comment below and share this article with a friend for an opportunity to win the “Make it Happen” calendar from my Get focused video.  Winner of the give away will be announced and notified by, Friday March 25, 2016.